Brunch in Benidorm

Now, before you say, 'what the hell are you doing?' it's just had to be done.  We decided long ago that we would visit Benidorm - if only for a few hours! - to see how bad it was and if it was anything like the hit TV programme of the same name.  As we approached Benidorm we thought something was odd as our ears suddenly tuned into an English DJ playing hits from the 60s and 70s - S-U-R-R-E-A-L!

We had a short walk to the beaches and were pleasantly surprised by how clean they were (there are two main beaches) and even the high-rise hotels didn't look too imposing.  Overall the whole resort was tidy which is amazing considering the all-year partying the town must experience.

Well, it was as expected - FULL of northerners and sun-dried ex-pats - some on beanos, others on big figure birthday weekends and they were having a great time.  We were definitely in the minority not least as we were fully clothed.  The ladies(?) were massively outnumbered by bald, overweight men - spoiled for choice!

A short walk along the paseo and the Brits were out in force in their finery: cap-sleeve T-shirts, shorts, trainers and all were looking for their next drink.  No problem if mobility is an issue - all needs catered for here - including couples.  This deluxe tandem scoot comes with individual swivel seats.  Seriously, half the people we saw in mobility scooters didn't need them - it is a lifestyle choice rather than negotiate the paseos on foot!

All the excitement led to a bit of an appetite and we gave into the temptation of Benidorm's finest gastronomy - the full English breakfast!  We confess to really looking forward to it as we haven't a 'cookie' since we've been away.  The waitress spoke to us in English and was quite surprised when I ordered it all in Spanish.  We were given a few sideways glances by other customers - for speaking in a foreign tongue (in Spain!) - scary! 

After lunch we decided to walk to the Old Town and the beach beyond the headland and were greeted with lovely views - and a smattering of Spaniards. 

 

As the afternoon wore on we decided to head back to the main drag.  The beach wall was lined with flatulent Brits (yep - we had the full audio version) - bellies and butts galore - and that's just the women!  I tried to get a piccie but it was hard not to be too obvious.  By this time it was about 3pm and the bars were packed.  It turned out that we'd missed (by 1 day) a Benidorm religious festival and fiesta - The Patron Lady of Suffrage - after which Brits get the opportunity of a fancy dress day (and night).  We saw the odd person still in fancy dress 36 hours after the event - not pretty!  Special events include World G&T Record contest.  You get the idea...

So, with all that visual overload we decided it was best to get out while the going was good and before the rival football club fans flexed their muscles.  We overheard a conversation to the effect that there are alot of fights here.  In fact, we saw a guy with a black eye wearing it like a badge of honour - it makes me proud to be British(?)!  Yes, time to beat a path back to the cultural sanctuary that is Valencia.